<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>La Channieson de Roland by Monthenor</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26603332">La Channieson de Roland</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monthenor/pseuds/Monthenor'>Monthenor</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Blaseball (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 04:01:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>915</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26603332</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monthenor/pseuds/Monthenor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Small epic poem immortalizing Roland the Twice-Beaned surviving two dangerous duels with Jaylen Hotdogfingers. Depicts events that occurred on Day 50 and Day 60 in Season 7 of Blaseball.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>La Channieson de Roland</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Weatherman King, our Rival and Shame<br/>
Full seven seasons hath sojourned near Maine<br/>
Conquered the league, and beat the western plains,<br/>
Now no series against him doth remain,<br/>
No base paths are left for him to gain,<br/>
And Yellowstone is severed one from main,<br/>
Divided low from low. A lack of games<br/>
With he who notice not our pains<br/>
Nor appear again, nor is germane.<br/>
I just thought I'd mention his name.</p>
<p>Two score and ten, game upon game<br/>
The blaseball gods set upon the field of play<br/>
Jaylen Hotdogfingers, Tiger's Bane.<br/>
Frankish hands that slice in twain<br/>
The souls of batters from this plane.<br/>
The Magic took part in this shame<br/>
And seek to put aright again.</p>
<p>Beneath the sun which hid its face<br/>
Annie Roland, bear-formed fate<br/>
Took his bat up to the plate<br/>
To bring wise Bevan home.<br/>
Jaylen winds up, does not wait,<br/>
Throws a bean in Roland's face,<br/>
Shows her fangs, and grants Roland first base.</p>
<p>Young Harrell raised her bat up high<br/>
And the cunning one drew Jaylen's eye,<br/>
"For too long have you smote the batters --<br/>
If thou likes hitting, try Reverb.<br/>
Until then, stick to pitching, cur."<br/>
And Jaylen raged and raised her hand<br/>
And Harrell's trap swiftly closed to<br/>
For wise Bevan hied him home before she knew<br/>
Or threw</p>
<p>Stout Wyatt Glover, Glover-born<br/>
Once a Mason, glove anon,<br/>
Came to face dread Jaylen's wrath<br/>
And did not stay to bandy words<br/>
But struck a liner straight past third<br/>
And brought great Roland home.<br/>
That day the Magic scored no more,<br/>
No need, up two to four.</p>
<p>The Magic crowded 'round their bear<br/>
To see what woe the lich had wrought.<br/>
Roland - Annie, wavered not<br/>
Thus spoke, "What are you all fussing about? I don't feel any different. But I *do* see some claw marks on the side of the dugout. I bet it's that dang bear again. I've had it about up to here with him. "<br/>
        AOI.</p>
<p>Full four days pass, two in eclipse,<br/>
And Roland, Death-Marked, never missed;<br/>
Played their innings, struck their hits,<br/>
And dared the umps to start some shit.<br/>
The umpires looked side to side<br/>
Behind the plate and on each line<br/>
But none among them set their eye<br/>
Upon the fearless Roland.</p>
<p>Then Roland shook its fur, and out<br/>
From skin and bone and ruddy pelt<br/>
The curse of Jaylen ran in gouts<br/>
To pool at its feet. The stones<br/>
Of Hades, ever hungry, roil<br/>
To mark Unstable's rout.</p>
<p>Six days pass in peace; once more<br/>
Garage lay siege to Yellowstone.<br/>
Blow for blow and all about<br/>
The pitchers Jaylen and Yeong-ho<br/>
Fought batters down -- until the score<br/>
Was three above and three below.</p>
<p>And doleful Jaylen, Once-Returned,<br/>
Twice-Hatched and The First Who Burned,<br/>
Served Bevan Wise a wicked turn<br/>
And gave him simple fastball lures<br/>
To ground out to Lang Richardson.</p>
<p>So mighty Roland took the field,<br/>
Survivor, bear astride the world.<br/>
She tipped her glasses down and growled<br/>
And Jaylen met her gaze. She hurled<br/>
A strike that split the air and found<br/>
The mitt of Acevedo.<br/>
Roland grips her bat, Durant,<br/>
Squares her ursine bulk against<br/>
The coming pitch. But Jaylen would<br/>
Fain strive against fierce Roland's mien<br/>
And lo! She throws a bean!</p>
<p>Now Magic's side raised hue and cry<br/>
And Harrell Hades-born didst fly<br/>
To strike her vengeance down the line<br/>
Of first, and advanced Roland's stead.<br/>
Wyatt Glover spurred his cleats<br/>
And Roland, seeing third so near,<br/>
With Jaylen facing Glover's stance<br/>
Runs west to press her advantage<br/>
But does not see that Jaylen's hand<br/>
Has blurred. And now the blaseball rests<br/>
With Destiny, athwart the bear,<br/>
Unstable, and tagged out, undone.</p>
<p>Now Eizabeth, the Scribe of Lives!<br/>
Who battles and knows not the why.<br/>
Now Oscar Dollie, Born of Sky!<br/>
Who hits a simple arcing fly.<br/>
Now Barajas the Inland Tide!<br/>
Who ebbs and lets the last strike by.<br/>
All these the Magic sent against<br/>
Great Jaylen, bottom of the tenth<br/>
But none could obstruct her advance,<br/>
Retired, and all left no trace.</p>
<p>On comes Picklestein, the Shining,<br/>
Who wields a blaseball bat of lightning.<br/>
He gives dark Jaylen's pitch a hiding<br/>
Straight into Destiny's infielding.<br/>
Now Preston, All-Father, All-Caring,<br/>
Also gives a pitch a haring.<br/>
And when Bevan takes a ball Dad<br/>
Steals the second base. Abbott<br/>
Pulls in wise Bevan's outfield fly<br/>
And dares Preston to make his try<br/>
For third. But Preston tags up safe<br/>
And waves at her, and shouts his praise.</p>
<p>Now Roland the Twice-Marked comes snarling,<br/>
Takes up bat, the bearform darling<br/>
Of the ballpark, muzzle curling.<br/>
Jaylen falters not, pitch curving<br/>
'Round Durant. Another, whizzing<br/>
Past fair batter Roland, looking.<br/>
The revenant, assured of striking<br/>
Out great Roland, makes her try<br/>
A spinning heater down the strike<br/>
Zone straight and true. But fie!<br/>
Does Roland bellow his defiance<br/>
Swings Durant and sets it flying<br/>
Out of all our provenance. His eye<br/>
Alights on Jaylen, winking, smiling,<br/>
As he lumbers 'round the diamond<br/>
To score he and Dad, 3-5.</p>
<p>Shame! Upon the Jaylen, beaning.<br/>
Shame! Upon Garages, straining.<br/>
Shame! Upon the Magic, even,<br/>
For their part in necromancy;<br/>
For their father's hands maintaining<br/>
Rituals that spilled this stain<br/>
Upon the Wild Leagues' cursed games<br/>
And caught the Tiger's tail aflame.<br/>
Shame! echoed through the aspen trees.<br/>
Shame! echoed over pools and creeks.<br/>
Shame! echoed around Wyoming.<br/>
Young Harrell closed the last inning<br/>
And Roland Twice-Beaned found her rest.</p>
<p>SO ENDS THE TALE WHICH GREW FROM RANDOM SEEDS.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>